errythaang

So I've been trying to make this post for like a week but I keep getting sidetracked and sidetracked and sidetracked, because I haven't even talked about the Phantom Menace yet and that happened on the 10th, but fuck i keep totally sidetracking myself and procrastinating and augh~! I will just do it, because I have to get to bed soon, and the sooner I finish this post, the sooner i can sleep. =u=

I'll start on the lowest note. My perfect betta fish Jango / Princess Starscream died on the night of the 26th. ;__;

I went to feed him at around midnight and noticed he was in the far corner of the tank, resting on the leaves of the plant in the tank, breathing a lot. At first I assumed he was just up there and was going to start making a new bubble nest because I had just refilled his water, but I looked back later and he was still just up there. James and I thought that maybe he was stuck on the leaf, but he wasn't. We nudged the leaf out from underneath him and he just... sank.

Bettas get this thing called 'swim bladder', it can come from all sorts of things, the water being too cold, overfeeding, the water not being changed, old age, lots of things. My second betta, Sammy, he had it near the end of his life. He swam upside down for a while and I had no idea how to stop it. Well, that was in seventh grade. Now I know that there's medication I can add to the water in his tank that will fix swim bladder, which was what he obviously had.

So I drained half the water in the sink, so that he'd be able to breathe more easily, and in the morning, we were going to go straight to the store to get some of the medication. I felt so bad not being able to do anything else for him but take some water out. I worried myself with it for a while, but I fell asleep.

At about 3 AM James woke me up and told me that he had died. I cried a lot, even though I was sort of half asleep. I feel like I should have been able to do something more for him, that he could have been suffering. I just felt awful about it, now that I know that swim bladder is something that can be fixed, but I couldn't do anything anyway.

In the morning I noticed he he was sort of resting when he died. Maybe, he just got tired and exhausted, and fell into his sort of fishy state of half-sleep where they just float there, and maybe he died peacefully. I like to think of it that way. He had a good life. Everyone loved him because he was a tsundere, and when I got him, he was all tiny and cute. Then he grew up to be this hugely flamboyant, gorgeous giant ass fish, and everyone would be like "...That's HIM? He's fucking huge!"

The thought of flushing him didn't even pop into my head. I can't flush away my gorgeous "best betta ever" Jango. Not happening. But then again, we live in an apartment and we'll probably move out in a year, so I didn't want to bury him outside. And nobody wanted to set him on fire. So we went to Lowes, and I picked out this cactus flower thing that is equal to him in fabulosity level. We bought a nice pot and buried him in there. I feel good knowing he has a final resting place that's nice and as pretty as he was. Once I get back home I'll take a picture of it and post it here.

Moving on from the sad part of this post. I'm gonna backtrack a bit so that I don't forget anything.

Okey dokey. You guys all know that I am not one for super traditional Valentine's Day gifts, which, don't get me wrong, are perfectly fine. I am totally down with chocolate or roses or whatever. But last year James got me Reveal the Shield Perceptor and it was practically the best thing ever. Well, this year we were sort of confined to the house, because his dad likes to take his car to work. Which I guess I can understand because it's better on gas, but still. We were sitting here sort of like... what do we do derp? So we decided to go to the craft store sometime in the future for the sunflower, and I will do a painting for him while he does a poem for me. Then we walked up the street to the McDonalds and he bought me a burger, and I bought him Panda. So that was our Valentine exchange, it was super yummy~ Then we went home and watched Planetes and oddly enough, asked eachother really weird 'would you rather' questions until like 2 am. It wasn't extravagant or anything, but I had fun~ <3 I'm so glad I got the day off to spend it together. :3

Anyway I had another really strange dream. They don't seem to make any sort of sense lately, usually I an at least get some kind of 'ohhh, that happened becuase I was watching that show/eating that/playing that/doing whatever' out of them, but now it's just like. Wat. We had a house in Death Valley and everyone was afraid to walk there because of heat stroke, but this blonde girl and i went jogging in a canyon, trying to convince this guy that we could run through a swamp or something. While we were at the swamp, someone shot and killed this guy in a very Fallout-ey way, with the slow-mo close up and all. This girl and I were laughing because he had a halo around his head. Then we went back the house, where they were filming the new Spiderman movie. I explained that I could help the cameraman because he sucked, and that he was using the jib all wrong. I tried to tell them that it would have more of an effect on the audience if the opening shot like panned up past this shiny logo thing they had on the ceiling, rather than rolling the jib around with the camera like stationary on top. I don't know how to describe it. They weren't using the jib to elevate the camera. They were using it like a cart.

So the director didn't let me work with them, but he asked me to produce a new movie. I pitched Circus to them, and showed them a CG trailer I had supposedly made a long time ago in which Cappy is standing in the desert on top of a T-34 with a bunch of kids who I have no idea who they were. That wasn't worded right but you know what I mean. I have no clue who those kids were supposed to be. And I have no idea what happened, because then we were back at home playing Rayman Arena, looking at "testimonies from the characters". So I was like "ooh show my Tily's. I used to play as her all the time." And there was nothing there except a weird sparkly signature and this thing telling me about War for Cybertron. I have no idea what the fell that was supposed to be. And I woke up.

Also since Bee's photoshop stopped working, I've been putting Chrys through hell and using that old photoshop. And I took a picture of them next to one another, and realized just how fucking tiny my new laptop is. Wuuk and widdle bee~ :3 Also, dual waifu. Lynette in the maid outfit is the best picture ever.

Oh yeah! We went to go see The Phantom Menace in 3D! That was like a while ago but I didn't mentioned it. It was fucking awesome, seeing it in 3D was just like. Wow. It wasn't like an entirely different movie, but it was just cooler looking. Our theater was hilarious too, the guys behind us made hilarious comments (like when Quigon saved Jar Jar, there was one guy who just said, very flatly, "WORST DECISION EVER." and when the tuskan raiders showed up during the podracer part and started honking/mooing/whatever their noise is, one guy just fucking cracked up for five minutes and couldn't stop laughing. There was also "jesus take the podracer".)

I was on Mbok yesterday looking at prints that I want, and I just realized that I still don't have a brown wig. I can't really wear lolita again until I have one, and it feels weird and restrict-ey. Like I have this whole closet just sitting here filled with unicorn vomit, but i would look retarded if I slathered it all over my face. But I want to slather it all over my face because it's my unicorn vomit and I worked hard to buy it. :|

So I'll be looking around for a good wig. That, and I might buy one of those little net-books, the tiny laptops? As if Bee isn't small enough already. I just don't want to have him weighing my bag down at school.

Okay fuck, speaking of that? That thing that I do, where I talk to my computer and phone, refer to them as people? Same with feeling bad for other household objects, getting attached to them, regarding them as friends or little babies/pets that I have to take care of? It has a name. I was talking to Mari on AIM and it led to me finding out that other people do that. Other people do the months thing too. So much that they both have names. The thing where a person pins human feelings and traits onto an object is called pathetic fallacy. I have no idea how bad it gets for other people, but I hope there's some way to fix it.

At the same time, though, I feel really bad for thinking that. I'd never say it out loud. I feel like, that by wanting to fix it, It's me wanting to get rid of friends. What would I do without Chrys and Bee? And Natalie? And all of the little carrots and pencil leads and screws I've saved, what am I supposed to do? Throw them away heartlessly? I would feel so horrible. I have no idea.

And the color-association is called ordinal linguistic personification. This isn't nearly as bad with me, sometimes I lol at 7 and 8 or think about how April is a dickish yellow guy, but it doesn't come into my mind as much as the object-feeling association does. Mostly because, while they're like people to me, they're people I've never met, while Bee and Natalie are people I see every day.

I sound completely insane but I promise I'm really not. I know it's irrational but in my head it sounds perfectly logical. I'm going to stop now. :3

My sociology test went good, my yo-yoing speech went good. We learned to tap dance and change a tire today. I wanted Mari stream her drawings and it was hilarious. I accidentally relapsed on my Transformers-not-buying-spree and ended up dropping a few dollars on TF Prime Optimus and Megatron. I love Megs' light piping, he shines all purple and gorgeous.

Also, the reason I've been procrastinating and shit on this post?

I love Asakiku.

I'm not even kidding. I wouldn't have studied for my sociology test if James hadn't been there to tear me away from that pairing and help me learn shit. I don't even know where it came from. Well, actually, I do. I used to hate the shit out of that pairing and yet still look at it neutrally, because England and Japan were my least favorite characters back in the day. I know. How is that even possible. Anyway, I sort of yeah, didn't care about it or for it, because what did I care if people wanted to ship the two characters I care about the least? Yeah. That was until I made them in the Sims 3.

I've mentioned my Sims 3 game on here a shitload of times by now, I'm sure, but like. I used to have Kiku going over to the FACE household all the time because i wanted him to be bros with America and Iggy, and bam, next thing you know, fucking story progression is turned on and he and Iggy are dating, and I'm like, well, idgaf, it's kind of canon anyway, so I'll just have Greece here hitting on Japan too. And I thought to myself that it was kind of cute, but fuck England.

Yeah, then I watched the World Series dub? That shit is. I can't even describe. I made a post on Tumblr on the night that I went through the whole thing, and I was flipping my shit so hard. Mostly because of the bloopers and how much I love the narrator girl, but also because of the asakiku episodes. I have no idea why I hated Iggy so much because I can't even fathom it now, probably just because I hate USUK but that couldn't have been the only reason. Anyway yeah, the dub made me fall in love with them. So I've been sitting around making fanmixes and rolling around in my feelings of OTP-wabu.

And that is why I don't get anything done these days. Goddamn Arthur and Kiku.

Holy fuck this post is long.

the dying town next door.

Alright, I'll make my post about Valentine's Day and everything sometime tomorrow after my sociology test. Today I want to tell you about how we ended up in Mesquite last Saturday. The scones and cupcakes and shit above have nothing to do with this, I just didn't bring my camera on the trip.

One of the last things James does before taking his driving test is get a lot of time driving on freeways. Nobody wanted to go to the congested shitty parts behind the Strip, or the weird hilly area by my house, so we decided to go toward Utah. We never planned to drive to Utah, or even past Apex, but we kept going. And going.

So we ended up in Mesquite. It's an hour out of town, so further than State Line / Primm in the other direction (I think it's further away?) but not exactly close to Utah either. It's just a little town, the muddy river runs straight through it and it's actually kinda pretty, if you're like me and you enjoy dirt and purple mountains and rivers that are more like streams, but are still FUCKING RIVERS IN THE DESERT.

I think there are only three casinos in the entire town. Virgin River, Casablanca, and the Oasis. I didn't know, but I guess the Oasis closed sometime last year.

It's probably the recession. It's hit that town hard. Everything within a certain radius of the Oasis is closed. Nothing has been demolished, it looks like some sort of Soviet town where everyone's long since moved out of the old buildings, but the buildings were never knocked down. They just sit there, abandoned. The Oasis, which is really really large compared to the Casablanca, was just... there. Like no-one had touched it in months, but it was so space-consuming and nice looking, no-one had the heart to tear it down. There was a cafe that looked like it'd been abandoned for twenty years, the roof literally falling in on itself, on a street corner across from a brand new Shell station. There were abandoned houses everywhere, and over by the lake was a golf course with brand new perfect houses lined up in row surrounding it. I wonder if the people who used to live in the abandoned houses just moved into the newer ones? What will happen to the old ones?

It was sad to see the town like that. I've never even been there before, but it's sort of scary, that something like that is happening so close to my city. What would happen if the casinos here started closing down? Hasn't everyone said that we're just a time bomb? God I don't ever want to leave here, it's so perfect as-is, what will happen to Fremont Street and everything around it? I should try to get rich quick and buy the entire area so no-one can do anything to my favorite few blocks in the world. :C

Anyway, we stopped at a tiny cafe and I got a super tasty meatball sub, we watched hockey and shit and went back home, and I wish I had brought my camera. Mesquite scared me. I feel like it's a long lost, less fortunate little sister to Vegas that I've never met. D:

don't you flip my chair.

Okay, so to explain that picture? I was eating cereal and James came up behind me and flipped my chair. So I just sat the back down on the flipped chair and kept eating. Not a single fuck was given. It was hilarious and James took a picture of it on my phone, and I don't have my memory card from my actual camera, so that's how I'm starting this post. Shit, unedited phone pictures. =u=

So I bought a doily today. Blogger, you don't even know how much I love doilies. I freak. out. every.time. Every time I even SEE one I'm like omg I need it. I have like a billion, one of them is huuuuge and I keep it on my chair. I even save the little paper ones they give you at restaurants. I don't even know, I just needed to mention it here that I have another one because it was only a dollar at the store. I'm gonna put all my Lynnes on it.

I would also like to let you guys know about the Julian protein.

So like we went out to the bookstore and the craft store (hence the doily) to search for shit that I wanted to buy when I was broke, but couldn't. I didn't find my book. Anyway, we went to Whole Foods, which is a fucking terrifying place for someone like me. The concept of organic shit and vegan shit is just one of the most awful things I can think of. This is coming from the person who eats nothing but Beefy Crunch Burritos, Spam, and $1 bags of pasta from Wal-Mart, so you see why it's so scary to me. It's like everything in that store was made specifically to like disgust me. But my mom loves it, and we needed protein.

And we found the Julian protein. James and I freaked out. From far away, I even had my glasses on and we were both like holy shit where's his rum and coke. Of course we had to buy some, and it's actually tasty as hell. I am drinking the protein of Sexian every morning now because it's just. The greatest thing to come out of Whole Food for sure.

Anyway um. Last week at work I got to do the photoshoot for the success story for LVAC magazine. The girl who we were shooting was much shorter than I am, and she brought in her old pants from before she lost weight so that we could compare. I'll definitely post the pictures where when the magazine comes out, but wow. Like two of her could fit into her old pants. It was amazing. I don't think I've ever seen a change that dramatic in real life before, it's all been those phony weight loss ads that you see late at night. But she is a living example that it can be done. It was really cool~! :3

Then the other day, after walking to McDonalds to eat with Mari and Hunter, I sorta lost my debit card. I flipped my shit because I haven't used it in ages, so I thought that maybe I lost it a long while ago and someone had already turned it in or stolen all of my money, and that there was nothing I could do about it. But James found it for me, in the backseat of the car. I was so happy just to not have to worry about my money being stolen! I want to buy one of those little laptops to take to school, as if Bee isn't small enough already. Anyway, I have my card back, and I got my burger, so it's all good.

I don't think I mentioned on here that we went out for sushi with them a little while ago? Not sure! But, Mari came and got all of us at the house, and we went to Hunter's apartment, which I've never seen before. He has this fucking horrifying tiny animal thing with these big eyes that he says just climbed up on him in the parking lot one day. It's terrifying. We also got our 360 hard drive back, and I was able to play that awful Overture game with four Sins. It's become my personal hobby to play as black Ky on there, but the Sin thing was just beyond mega entertaining. Anyway, er, we went to this place called "Ta-Tas." I'm not even kidding you.

Now, I don't eat sushi, BECAUSE I AM AN AMERICAN, MOTHERFUCKERS (no actually it's just fucking nasty to me), but we got there like really late, and everyone ordered a shitload of these roll things and beef and stuff. It took four Americans to open one straw wrapper with chopsticks. I tried transferring ice from one cup to another and yeah. I am not really a true asian. I can't do chopsticks for shit. Mari almost stole their cup, and we got to see Jesse and James Garcia and David for the first time in forever. It was pretty cool.

Oh! And I talked to Rocky for the first time in forever! I didn't know that he takes classes at Cheyanne, and James just came up the stairs with him like it was no big deal. That guy cracks my shit up, he has super long hair now, was wearing a shirt with a huge bong on the front, and he had no shoes on. We sat there for hours while there was some sort of Black Panthers rally downstairs or some shit, talking about everything that is fundamentally wrong with the way EKA works, and how they've fucked many people out of having decent lives.

I don't usually like to blame others for my failures, because I know I can't really do shit aside from yo-yoing and cleaning the bathroom really well, but I do think my school is to blame for some of the things I have to go through now. Don't get me wrong, EKA is a treasured memory to me and will always have a place in my heart, it's where I met my family, where I met all my best friends and have the greatest most hilarious memories ever. But, I started there in 6th grade, the school's first year, and up until like 10th grade there was no concrete math program. 6-7 and 7-8 math were pretty much "sit around on the computer and play Horseland because you'll get an A no matter what" class. BoxerMath? Ha. Haha. I didn't really start math until PEMDAS with Price, but that's like my entire middle school math classes gone. I didn't learn anything. I know with places like EKA sometimes you have to take the law into your own hands and do shit for yourself, but I needed someone to teach me math. I couldn't just figure it out from the book. I'm that stupid. So, because of that 6-7 / 7-8 thing, BoxerMath, and the NEW advisory math class with like 100 kids in the storefront room doing random tests between talking about Naruto, I didn't learn shit. I am totally dreading taking those math placement tests at CSN (which I have to take, coincidentally, because EKA screwed me out of taking my SATs and ACTs) because I know I'll be in tard math for a long time. I have to catch up all the way from middle school. It'll be awful.

But yeah, we talked about all sorts of thing that the school has done to people, and their weird way of shutting the outside world away. And we talked about all of the people we know from EKA, and how they're doing. I don't really talk to a whole lot of them anymore, probably mostly because I don't have a facebook. But I don't want one, because I don't want to get involved with everyone's business like it was my own. But! It was good seeing him again.

Annnnd I don't think much else has happened. I'm giving a speech about yo-yos and how to do little tricks on Wednesday. I'm going to warn everyone about the loss of finger circulation and black eyes. I've been working on this AmeCan fanfic like it's nanowrimo or something (it's titled "shitbox" now because every working title it's had so far has been retarded and unfitting as I write along), and I drew my Jango in crayons because I can't find like anything to draw with around my desk. I'll post all my shitty crayon drawing on my other blog though, 'cause I don't want to pollute this one. :c

OH YEAH. AND I ALSO PLAYED NEW VEGAS AGAIN LAST NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN WHAT SEEMED LIKE 90 YEARS. I FLIPPED. MY. SHIT. I don't even know why it's so sentimental for me, it was ust a weird time in life last year when I was playing it without a goal, just sorta working for my dad, not taking classes, and sitting around at home. Doing nothing. So I have no idea why I get so emotional playing it, it's not like I was going through an existential crisis last year or anything. I think it's just because I'm so attached to Yulia, and I never got closure with her. I begin this game as Yulia 2.0 and I will go through it and end it right. With my vodka addiction and robot husbando already in tow. (You have no idea how hard I cried last night when I got Ed-E back. It wasn't even funny. I am so retarded like holy shit.)

OKAY I'M DONE. :|

привет to you blogger~!

Well well well~! It's almost Valentine's Day! What is everyone doing? Unfortunately, it falls on a Tuesday this year, so I'll probably we working. xD But, that won't stop me! I want to print out a whole bunch of those cheesy valentines from all of the series/fandoms James likes, and stick them all inside of his computer when it's closed. Then I'm going to draw a real valentine comic and put it at the bottom. C: I hope he likes it, maybe I'll do watercolors again like I did for his Christmas comic~. All I asked from him is for a single sunflower... I really love Sunflowers in big bunches but I know they're not in season right now, so just one would be perfect <3

Anyway. School has not yet become extremely stressful and busy, and I think I'm lucky not to have any online courses. It was just too much work, and I like being here. I'm typing this from the cafeteria so that I don't forget before I head home. ~u~

Yesterday I went at got Master Suite stuff from the Sims 3, and it came with lots of neat stuff. I mostly like the bathroom item (idk why) and I have a new favorite wall lamp. I don't think I've been keeping blogger up-to-date with what I've been doing on the Sims... But it's just fucking hilarious. I have lots of households with random anime and game characters, lots of personifications (of my TEF deer, my electronics... haha everything!) and lots of just random people running around my town. The open town makes it really easy for them all to interact on a frequent basis, so there are strange things that happen, such as Obama tipping Itachi and America while they "jam" badly in the park, Hatsune Miku becoming best friends with Sealand, and Lynette living with the aforementioned Itachi, and Misa Amane. There are so many hilarious things that have happened, I can even begin to name them all. I could spend hours just sitting there laughing at why they all do. Canada wanted to crash someone's party. Fucking Canada. Why. They wouldn't even noticed him. -u-

Then the other day my straightener supposedly "stopped working" mysteriously, after my sister's new boyfriend tried to use it without my permission. I asked him to pay me back for it since he pretty obviously broke it, and of course, he won't. Mind you, this guy is quite a few years older than I am, has no job, no car, and no life outside of playing WoW with my sister to impress her, but I at least thought that he had that slight bit of maturity in him to pay for something he broke. I guess not though, I shouldn't have expected it from him since I spend most of my cleaning time on the weekends cleaning up after the messes he leaves on the computer table in the living room. It's really nasty... I actually prefer cleaning the bathroom over cleaning the living room and kitchen! Is that weird? I get this strange sense of satisfaction from having a sparkly clean bathroom. That, and dusting. I love dusting shit. =w=

So, before that, we all went out to have dinner for my Aunt's birthday at Chili's, and I drew me and my sister imitating fawns from TEF. Probably the best thing I've drawn in my life ever. Also! The Patriots lost the Superbowl! ;O; Nooooo! I wanted them to kick New York's ass... Oh well, though. I've been working on fics as inspiration for each of the three that I'm trying to finish comes and goes, and also getting back on stupid goddamn Gaia, which I really should stay away from. I don't know where else to find people to roleplay with, though! And, I like formatting. And oh lordy have I been having weird dreams. Maybe I'll post some later, but right now I'm going to wrap this up because it's cold here~!

Well Blogger, пока! :3

it's a new month and semseter~!

So, I"m not sure why my keyboard is freaking out, but just in case you see a LOT of typos? My keys feel funny. Like there are a shitload of crumbs underneath... but I know that there aren't at crumbs underneath. Uh. Anyway.

I slacked off posting at the end of January because the semester has started up again, and this time I have classes in real life! My entire everything doesn't revolve around the internet like it has for a long while now, and it's sort of scary. Being at EKA all through middle and high school has sort of gotten me used to being around the same 150 people all the time. We were like a family and I knew them all by name. But at the CSN Cheyanne campus, there are like, THOUSANDS of people there every day, and I don't know a single one except James and Kaela. They've all been nice so far though, and I don't have any demon teachers.

I only go on mondays and wednesdays, with tuesday and thursdays left over for work. So, technically, I do still have that three-day weekend that I got used to at EKA and I'm very thankful for it. If I didn't have three days to sit around and write fanfiction and freak out about TF stuff, I have no idea what I'd do. =u=

James and I have one of our classes together and our teacher looks like an older Jack Bauer/Keifer Sutherland (or however you spell it). I get to see Kaela in the mornings now becuase she has a biology class there too! I'm super jelly, I really wanted a biology class this semester but they filled up really fast. I'll be sitting there watching like a hawk come the fall season. I refuse to go another semester without taking a class that actually has something to do with my major. I have a long break in the mornings where I just chill out and sit on Tumblr and the Sims 3 for a few hours. It's been fun, I just wish we had more food options! But then again, I am way obsessed with food, so there you go. I want burgers and beefy crunch burritos. :D

Also, since Blogger has not seen my cut hair yet, here it is! It's very very short and it curls up and looks nice, sometimes I straighten it but I think I like it curly. I can't wear any lolita until I get a suitable long wig (I have a couple but none of them really 'go' with my cords, hurf durf cosplay wigs) but until then I'm wearing 'normal' clothes for a change. For a little while at least~.

We are staring to do Nevada Development Authority photoshoots again at work, the last place we shot at was a really neat place with lots of cookware in a big showroom! The people there were also very nice and it was cool to work on NDA stuff again. I thought it was over, since I know there were a whole ton of spots made, but I guess the spots are working, so they want to make more! I've also been playing elite mode on Audiosurf, working on another new fic (I can't wait for Camp Nanowrimo in June, maybe I'll actually FINISH something during that time) and dicking around with new stuff I found at the craft store, including a long picture frame that I had to print like 40 billion pictures for. I'm also going to start of my cosplays soon, since I've discovered that I only need one pair of lenses this year. Bridget, Canada, and Patchouli. I already have green lenses from Liet, and Canada and Patchouli both have purple eyes, so just one pair! Yay money saved~ More to waste on Transformers~~ =u=